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Who wants to be Satan?

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Arenamontanus Arenamontanus's picture
Who wants to be Satan?
The Second Coming is here! An Autonomist archivist has found a backup copy of Jesus in an old database, and now he is wandering the habitats of Saturn! This particular Jesus (a PC) happens to be an AGI developed by the United Church of Marshfield just before the Fall, intended to behave in a Christ-like way. Exactly why they had this idea remains a mystery, since only their software seems to have survived (they used off-Earth fairtrade software development, which might have contributed to the files surviving). In any case, Jesus 2.0 is up and running, and doing its best to save souls, preach and be the Messiah. The fact that it knows it is an AGI written for this purpose is not a problem; it has unshakeable faith in what it is doing. And an impressive charisma for an AGI. Enter Necmettin Ergun. A documentary maker and entertainment producer, he immediately saw the potential. He convinced Jesus 2.0 to allow him to chronicle his career. They soon realized that there was a need for the new messiah to prove himself - ideally as an enticing media spectacle. What about 40 days of temptations in the desert? This would make a great (start of a) reality show: Jesus 2.0 isolated, force to subsist on a minimum of resources, being tempted by the Devil. So now there is a need to hold auditions for a good Devil, or perhaps devils. This is of course where I turn to you, dear forum members: just who would audition for the job? How bizarre fame seekers would they get? How ingenious temptations can they design? How much product placement ("CoolBlue: so refreshing even Christ falls for it") can Necmettin cram in? And what about other weird, wonderful and wild characters will this piece of saviour software run into in his quest to become more famous than the Beatles?
Extropian
Axel the Chimeric Axel the Chimeric's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
Anyone who's watched American Idol instantly knows the opportunities that'd come from this in the pre-show alone. Jersey Shore level narcissism would lead any number of people submitting their audition for the part of the devil (with the obvious exclusion of the purely mediocre). Off the top of my head... -The blatantly bad people, who clearly have no clue what they're trying to achieve. They come on dressed in a red jumpsuit (likely with some sort of silly catchphrase or a logo on them), and give a performance so cheesey they'd not even get to be a part of a community theatre's production of Faust. -The campy ones not taking it seriously. They show up in red pajamas with a tail and a pair of horns, and deliver their lines with the kitchy lisp reminiscent of Richard Simmons. -The absolutely stunningly charismatic people sleeved in brilliantly attractive morphs with modified vocal chords that proudly declare themselves Lucifer Morningstar. And, of course, there'd be a few who'd come on and make idiots of themselves stating their disgust towards the concept while trying to protest it.
The Demon Code The Demon Code's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
A man who declares boldly that he represents Lucifer. This is perfectly accurate as he is an elected representative of the Morningstar Constellation's Lucifer Aerostat. Alternately, the show could be set there since Venus is sort of a desert.
nezumi.hebereke nezumi.hebereke's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
Axel probably has it right. Ultimately though I think the winner would be the philosopher/psychotherapist who convinces the 'savior' he matches all the symptoms of delusions and requires treatment to get better (since, after all, if he were truly the savior, he would continue to be such even after treatment, no?)
Axel the Chimeric Axel the Chimeric's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
One of the qualities the Saviour proved is the ability to not need to prove His divinity to the Devil, if I recall rightly.
Lilith Lilith's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
Indeed, you do.
Arenamontanus Arenamontanus's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
There is much to draw on here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TerribleIntervieweesMontage http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HopelessAuditionees Other fun ideas: The crazy who becomes obsessed after being failed, wanting to prove just how good devil they can be. Or acts like a stalker, thinking that Jesus actually want them to do whatever they do. Why would He otherwise send these secret messages and hints? The former Direct Action soldier in a Reaper morph, who got a bit too damaged in the last fight and now thinks he is the agent of the devil... because that is nicer than being him. The *real* devil (or rather, the real uber-Machiavellian manipulator a la Reginald Neophyte) is somewhere far behind the scenes, getting his agents involved among disciples and recording crew.
Extropian
Axel the Chimeric Axel the Chimeric's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
Since this is an AGI made to think he's Jesus, what about an AGI made to act like Lucifer? [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-nPQQWIf3c#t=01m58s]Once again, inspiration can be drawn from Agent Smith.[/url] Proud, powerful, wise and intelligent, but, at the same time, insecure, weak, and infinitely ignorant, all these qualities together coming to create the ultimate frustration in a being of tremendous potency.
Arenamontanus Arenamontanus's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
A Lucifer AGI would be fun (hmm, the Robot Devil?), but Necmettin will not shell out the money or rep to program one. Of course, maybe the church did program a counterpart to Jesus 2.0... but will it play according to the rules? Especially if it got activated during the Fall. Now it is *experienced*. Another possibility is that there are already a few public domain devil AIs out there. Why? Why do people make chatbots or griefing scripts? It is hilarious to send an imp after a holier-than-thou preacher, or insert it into the Extropian Tabernacle simspace. Some online pranksters might decide to test how good Jesus 2.0 is with his exorcisms by spamming him across the solar system.
Extropian
nezumi.hebereke nezumi.hebereke's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
My idea would be based on the concept that, even if Jesusbot fails to engage him, the audience is likely to see her scientific support and the fact that Satan is a sizzling hot lady as cause that, indeed, perhaps Jesusbot is not possessing of all of his marbles. Ultimately, if Jesusbot refuses to engage Satan, there's not much Satan can do directly, so Satan must work indirectly, likely by threatening the infrastructure Jesusbot relies on to function effectively. However, Axel's idea would make for MUCH better TV, so I'd probably have to go with that.
Axel the Chimeric Axel the Chimeric's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
And what happens when the audience gets bored after the Jesus simulation and Lucifer AGI begin to break down and discuss philosophy? Why, you suppress their personalities, kick in the secretly installed combat routines, and download them both into large synthmorphs! Saviorbot vs. Lucifertron! Taking all bets!
Quincey Forder Quincey Forder's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
Enter Petra Davidson, daughter of a methodist pastor before the Fall. Daddy's girl while growing up in a media-restrictive household, she was in for a cultural shock the day she left for college. Away from her father, she realized how tyrannic, narrow minded he was. From then, it was like the (book)worm became a butterfly. Her natural and beautiful red hair and porcelain(picture Jean Grey and Emma Frost rolled in one) drew the attention of many morph broker and makers who were willing to pay a fortune for her DNA license to build morphs after her genome. Reluctant at first, she finally accepted, and became really rich real fast. She did made backups on the campus' servers, though she never got a stack When Notre Dame opened a branch on Mars, she signed up to have her backup move there as well as going to study theme. Being rich helped push her application up the waiting list. For until a month of her transfer, she managed to keep it a secret. Until her father entered the course for the Pan American Presidency, under the ultra-bioconservative wing of the Republican Party. The supporters of the Democrat candidate started to dig for dirt around his family and didn't take long to find out she was rich from her genetic royalties, her DNA being used to build either Exalt or Sylph morphs on Mars, by subsidiaries of the group then called Offworld Consortium. That sent Daddy in a rage. He disowned her on the spot, and in a very public audience. She scoffed it, saying that she wouldn't be pennyless or homeless without him, and that she was really relieved to be freed of a man who valued his principles way more than he valued his wife's and children's rights and if he was elected, the Pan American people could kiss their precious democracy bye bye. She went on saying that in this day and age, monotheist religions did more harm than good, her own religion was of freedom and free spirits...and made the mistake of reaching in her purse for something. A bodyguard, already incensed by her blasphemous words, mistook her gesture and believing she was going to pull a gun, withdrew his gun and discharged it on her. Mortally wounded she spit blood on her father's face, saying that she would come back from the grave to destroy his work, and died... Live on TV! Upon her resleeving on Mars, her 'fall from Grace' replaying on every news feed across the system informed her of her demise and her oath. She entered in contact with a group of hacker in Elysium (not yet known as the crime syndicate IDCrew would become) and with their help, forked herself half a thousand times (665 times, to be exact both on Mars, Earth, Luna and Titan. While her 666th self was studying at college. Over the following years, she unearthed the dirtiest secrets of many clergymen of all confessions, causing many crises of faith, and pouring oil on the dormant fire of several conflicts, funded many terrorist cells of all confessions and causes pitting them against each other using her forks' forks to pit them against government and each others. Although she wasn't, by a long shot, the sole responsible for the Fall, Petra significantly tipped the balance When the Fall came, she gleefully watched, while making sure her Alphas on Earth were evacuated. She laid discrete for several years, watching and gathering her riches from royalties and trafficking. One day, an ad for an audition caught her attention. somebody was looking for the Devil. With nothing better to do at the time, Petra Davidson applied, under the alias of Lucinda Denvers. Would she be chosen, when she already was doing the part already in real life under everybody's nose?
[center] Q U I N C E Y ^_*_^ F O R D E R [/center] Remember The Cant! [img]http://tinyurl.com/h8azy78[/img] [img]http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg205/tachistarfire/theeye_fanzine_us...
Arenamontanus Arenamontanus's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
Petra's story is so over the top that I have a hard time believing it... unless she also happens to be a good meme-crafter. This is what people remember of her. Is it true? Who cares - this is the story she has seeded, and now she is coming to catch Jesus. Another interesting group of people for this story can be sincere religious people trying to save Jesus 2.0 from delusion. He is clearly not the saviour, so they have a moral requirement to help treat this poor AGI see the light. Hmm, a Carnival of the Goat prankster/decadent bioartist might also fit in. He might look and behave the part. Ah, the creepy async who not just thinks he is evil and has supernatural powers... he really seems to have them. Might have a tough time affecting the infomorph Jesus, though.
Extropian
Quincey Forder Quincey Forder's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
well, you know the saying the Devil's greatest accomplishment is that he had made people believe he didn't exist. If that's not mastery meme crafting, I don't know what it is! Beside, over the top stories is the proper of TV reality. There is one in France called Secret Story that had even more outrageous character background. Inspiration-wise, I wove elements from Supergirl (DC 1999-2002) and Fallen Angel (DC, IDW 2003-current). As if the name Petra Davidson wasn't a dead give away :p
[center] Q U I N C E Y ^_*_^ F O R D E R [/center] Remember The Cant! [img]http://tinyurl.com/h8azy78[/img] [img]http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg205/tachistarfire/theeye_fanzine_us...
root root's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
root@Who wants to be Satan? [hr] How about having the "expert" psychologist who is analyzing the contestants have a pointy goatee and wear very expensive suits? His office would have quite the set of baroque furniture, and would likely look more like a law office than a proper psychologist's room. EDIT: let me unpack that a bit so I seem like less of an ass. The psychologist who looks like Satan would be critiquing all of the contestants all season long. Maybe by mid-season enough of the audience suspects that he is the "real" Lucifer, so by the end of the season the last remaining diabolical contestant can face off with him for the throne of Hell. Which, conveniently, is on Earth, so the winner can get dumped from orbit if they don't play nice with Jezuz-bot and make good ratings.
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Axel the Chimeric Axel the Chimeric's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
Dumping someone onto Earth is pretty much about as evil as it gets, and, truth be told, people don't like to see actual evil in their society; they like play evil, "Evil Lite". People want to boo and hiss at people that they don't like, and laugh at people they consider idiots, but showing them real evil just upsets them. That's why COPS only ever shows drug arrests and home disputes, with the occasional suicidal person thrown in for tension. They're never taking down a murderer or what have you; they're taking down people who act like morons on camera. It's like prototypical reality TV. "Evil Lite", which sounds like an AWESOME name for a soft drink, would be the threat of that, but never really doing it. Or, if you do, make sure they're on a tether or that there's an EVA droid being tele-operated by the Savior AGI, to fly in at the nick of time and prove that even God's enemies are worth saving. Also, a name for the psychologist would be Louis Seifer. He's only refered to as Dr. Seifer, with the occasional oblique reference to his first name thrown into the mix now and then.
Arenamontanus Arenamontanus's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
This seems relevant: a patent application for 'Godly powers' http://intellogist.wordpress.com/2011/06/07/godly-powers-a-mystical-us-p... Maybe Jesus 2.0 will be sued for infringement...
Extropian
The Demon Code The Demon Code's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
Arenamontanus wrote:
This seems relevant: a patent application for 'Godly powers' http://intellogist.wordpress.com/2011/06/07/godly-powers-a-mystical-us-p... Maybe Jesus 2.0 will be sued for infringement...
Except for two things: 1) A US patent is only good in the US... as long as he is in space, he's fine. 2) The application has been abandoned. :)
The Demon Code The Demon Code's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
double post
Jay Dugger Jay Dugger's picture
Re: Who wants to be Satan?
See also: Clarke, Jeremy. God Is Love: Get It In Writing. 1991. This satire on religious hypocrisy revolves about the "Let's Make A Deity" television show, where Seth Early, a cloned pop star groomed as the perfect made-for-TV messiah gets upstaged by Christ's Second Coming--and his joining the show's cast. In E.P., some loose cannon at Cognite might decide a religious revival offers a genuine novelty. A manufactured religion, such as those in the Land of the Ten Suns property, might get upstaged by the recovery of a pre-fall AGI such as that produced by the U.C.M.. The role of John the Baptist and Judas Iscariot remain as an exercise for the reader.
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