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Stop Eating MeatHab!

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ringringlingling ringringlingling's picture
Stop Eating MeatHab!
ID: meathabadmin@meathab.iii From: Meat Hab Collective Re: Poaching You may have heard some rumors recently regarding what happened to a certain interloper who decided to see what the walls tasted like. While the cult responsible for spacing him out the airlock has been held responsible, we would like to remind you that people do live here, and there is no reason to consume our homes. There are several prefabricated areas that produce meals for guests and visitors, and anyone caught dining on our habitat will be held and forced to pay a fine to help repair the habitat. While its true that the habitat does heal on its own, the sheer number of visitors who have been caught poaching lately has forced us to institute this policy. Remember, conservation of mass still applies while on meathab, so anything that goes out must be brought back in, including your stool, urine, and the air you breath. Our tourism board works hard to maintain meathab and make it available for everyone who visits. Just a reminder that we do sell samples for geneticists and biosculpting enthusiasts.
SquireNed SquireNed's picture
Is there a way to eat MeatHab
Is there a way to eat MeatHab without having to poach? How large are the "geneticist and biosculpting enthusiast" samples? Not that I'm interested (vat-grown meat is good enough for me, and I'd imagine that MeatHab probably is a similar experience anyway), I just find this topic to be oddly fascinating.
jKaiser jKaiser's picture
[Out of character, but this
[Out of character, but this has made me feel obligated to link this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBlBtP3-x_w Enjoy the taste.]
base3numeral base3numeral's picture
Glad I visited beforehand
I'm very glad I visited before this became a problem. You may want to have the meals worked on, as there is a taste difference between that and hab actual. With my respects to Turn Yourself Into a Giant Mass of Space Meat for Art! and the generous egos that help maintain it.
Strength in depth... The Fleet
ringringlingling ringringlingling's picture
Meat Cult
From what I gather people aren't actually "poaching" in the sense that they are trying to resell genetic samples in their stool, (there is already a market for bioenthusiasts exporting cell cultures for research) its more of a religious experience. Meathab attracts some strange people. One of the ideas that has sprung up around here is that by eating a piece of meat hab, you become one with the habitat. You can try explaining to them that all the food produced locally is sourced directly from the habitat, but that point seems lost in them. Having "The meat in you", seems to mean directly feeding on the structural and foundation supports, including powdered bone and churned marrow. We've begun marking problem areas with very weak radioisotopes of iodine, like the ones used in Magnetic Resonance Imaging, pumping it through the circulatory system and using it to trace offenders. The problem is that it is a reletively minor crime, but taken as a whole can cause structural problems. We nearly had a wall collapse in one of the unmonitored sections of the hab, and there was a breach near the exterior airlock. If this keeps up, we are going to have to start coming down hard on offenders, which will stir up a hornets nest from the various brinker cults stationed here. They don't have any money or possessions, so the only thing we can really do is send them packing. But since nobody really wants them... I'm kind of at the end of my rope!
ShadowDragon8685 ShadowDragon8685's picture
Frankly, just treat it as
Frankly, just treat it as habitat sabotage; that's what it amounts to. Go hard in clamping down on the next lot that do it - harsh nonlethal capture tactics with lethal backup at hand if they escalate. Knock them around, haul them to an airlock, and make it clear this is their [b]final[/b] warning.
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Rolando DeLaxie Rolando DeLaxie's picture
Hahahahaha. You guys are
Hahahahaha. You guys are gonna be the next "Uzamaki" novel, mark my goddam words. Meathab is a deathtrap and it's gonna remember the ones who bit it first. Backlash is a primal force of the universe, humanoids!
"Nobody goes to Grid 36." --Rolando DeLaxie Scandal Artist, Extortionist, fmr Noctis Ranger