So, I've been wondering for a while now... do I count as an exhuman? A little background, I originally died during the fall, and when an opportunity arrived to get an actual body again I decided to go with something decidedly non-human, non-earthly even. I went with a scurrier and while I know that's a standard morph that technicians all over the system use, it still uses an alien lifeform as a base, and it's what's been going on in my head that troubles me. More and more, I've stopped seeing myself as human. I look at the muzzle and pupil-less eyes in the mirror, and it's natural. As it should be. I've adapted to the morph's odd dietary and instinctual habits, the feel of an additional set of limbs, the fur covering my body, the change in scale, all as if I'd lived it my entire life. Full integration into a new morph. The trouble only gets worse on the occasions where I need to use a more human morph. Egocasting to meetings and such where they may not want to splurge on an expensive morph I'll only use for a couple days. I feel too tall, like I could topple over at any moment. I feel cold, and the clothes on my bare skin are a constant bother on my senses. I eat and drink normal food and everything tastes and smells off. More than anything, I feel like a stranger in something else's skin. Like I don't belong, and never will. I have no desire to go back to being human. I like my new morph, and I hate the way my old one makes me feel. I suppose in the most basic sense of the term, I would classify myself as exhuman, but I find myself hesitant to actually admit it except for anonymously online. I know there's a stigma around the label, one of people that feel the need to prove their superiority over the "lesser" species, or forcibly convert others. However, doing either of these seems pointless and a waste of time. Sure, I feel like my new body is a definite improvement over my old one, but it doesn't hurt me to have all these humans around and I have far better things to do with my time than get into a pissing contest over morph superiority. I don't know if there's a point to all this rambling, but it's just been something I needed to get off my chest.
Sat, 2017-04-29 11:40#1