EP Scandals

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Rolando DeLaxie Rolando DeLaxie's picture
EP Scandals

My character is an extortionist and scandal artist. He has "storytime" to scare people with actual scandals instead of bluffing. He regularly references scandals caused in the Know Evil campaign. I want to include your canon in our canon. Tell me scandals caused by Firewall operations that have happened in your campaign. The more awful the better.
If it helps, DeLaxie has +65 Interest: Scandals.

"Nobody goes to Grid 36." --Rolando DeLaxie
Scandal Artist, Extortionist, fmr Noctis Ranger

Rolando DeLaxie Rolando DeLaxie's picture
Lunartics

I'll start.
Recently that shit that started with the clinkers and their botched throwdown was actually touched off, and simultaneously hamstrung, by a firewall op. It was the same infamous bastards that caused the shitstorm on Legba. Yeah, baby, that dangerous bastard Proxy Z[REDACTED, seriously Rolando? --Proxy WEED] and his merry band of focking lunatics. That wasn't even the worst of it but I'm still piecing that shet together. Ultimately the guy bailed to look for his sister, SIRAAC just focking vanished, one was made insanely rich, one got a TV show and I think the last one works for an uplifted panda's crime syndicate. Sounds asinine, don't it?

"Nobody goes to Grid 36." --Rolando DeLaxie
Scandal Artist, Extortionist, fmr Noctis Ranger

Rolando DeLaxie Rolando DeLaxie's picture
Red Scares

The more shit I have to do for you compound gigabastards, the more brownstock rolls out. I shouldn't say that, this didn't start out as a firewall op. Anyfockinghow, we was crossing the Noctis bridge, and my partner X is confronted by some indent randomite woman. There was like, fifteen of these cats. This ruster woman blocks Mr. X--who is a terafucking Ultimate gigabastard--and confronts him for scraps. Now she don't look good, she claims to be sick from industrial pollutants, heavy metals, rems 'n grays, carcinogens, all this malignant joy we used to get sick from like a hundred goddamn years ago. She says all this basically verbatim like it's been fed to her by her indent holder. Classic, but Mr. X is a ladder doctor. This poor hodack asks me what to do because this girl is persistent, she sits on his shoe and threatens to piss, now, our Candybar Suits are waterproof, and have eelware, but I pointed out that mobs do transhumanitarian dogshit all the time to improve their public image. So he examines her. Turns out, wouldn't you know, classic GRM-itis. I called this in, but F-dub quickly discounted this as not an X-threat but just some more shitty stuff thoomans do to each other for profit. This is microcorps doing this. Names include OTI, TransCydonian and Genero Tu.

X hates corps more than I do so we decide to anger our enemies and gain some @rep while we're at it and spend some favors to get a healing tank reserved for the I-think-it-was-like-36 hours to treat these poor red monkeys three at a time.

And thank the karma gods we did...

"Nobody goes to Grid 36." --Rolando DeLaxie
Scandal Artist, Extortionist, fmr Noctis Ranger

Rolando DeLaxie Rolando DeLaxie's picture
Water Damage

A very focking big space craft-type ice-hauler vehicle thing "Water of God" basically blew the fuck up for no reason on it's way to this lonely spinning asshole in space, the torus hab "Jameson-223," surely a coincidence in relation to the terrorist attack on the station's water facilities, sending the cost of water on the biomorphs-only station. The LLA is naturally blaming this on anarchist terrorists, so there is of course NO possible way this was some kind of operation by a secret shadow group like FW, me, or my completely legit, allegedly criminal outfit, G36. I resemble these remarks and will not focking give them toleration. Now please stand by while we install a puppet commander friendly to FW and G36 and form a new cell.

"Nobody goes to Grid 36." --Rolando DeLaxie
Scandal Artist, Extortionist, fmr Noctis Ranger

ringringlingling ringringlingling's picture
Capped their Exfiltration Target

I can't remember how many fucking times I've had this conversation in Jovian space:

Whats the big deal, we'll just pop his stack!
He a flat you mong! He doesn't HAVE a fucking stack!

ringringlingling ringringlingling's picture
Rolando DeLaxie wrote:A very

Rolando DeLaxie wrote:
A very focking big space craft-type ice-hauler vehicle thing "Water of God" basically blew the fuck up for no reason on it's way to this lonely spinning asshole in space.

At least it wasn't Luna

ringringlingling ringringlingling's picture
Rail Guns on Space Habitat

You can only use these things in domes, otherwise they will go straight through the god damn exterior walls and cause a breach. Even conventional firearms can cause a hull breach. Not to mention recoil in micro-gravity.

CordialUltimate2 CordialUltimate2's picture
Nickname:[REDACTED]

Nickname:[REDACTED]
Meshnode:[REDACTED]
Timestamp:00:00:01 25.05.1789
Maybe you have heard about the one time when somebody detonated antimatter in center of Noctis Quinjao. Attackers went in in untraceable morphs and never came out of the building. Most of the district was destroyed.

Maybe you have heard about that one time when unknown attackers stormed a hospital. And they disappeared when an army of heavily armed and autistic security droids came out of the hospital massacring everything in their way.

Maybe you have heard about that one time when peaceful Cognite research facility was destroyed completely by a group of unknown attackers who killed over 30 scientists and destroyed all the simulspace servers along with several thousands of stored egos.

Maybe you have heard about that one time when a wife and daughter of investigator were kidnapped and egonapped from two egobanks at once just to be tortured into insanity and left to die in Martian desert.

Maybe you have heard about that one time when a solar flare originated in high Martian orbit and destroyed most of Martian mesh infrastructure.

All this made Mars system a powderkeg ready to blow. Populace doesn't trust the corps to keep them safe anymore. At the same time enforcing harsh martial law didn't stop the incidents. Barsooms do not claim responsibility. Corps blame anarchist terrorist of unknown affiliation. Many believe that all these incidents are connected. But how? Probably only the members of the conspiracy know.

Exurgents wanna eat your ass and you are low on ammo? Register to mobile gear catalogue at eldrich.host.mesh! ORDER NOW! FOR FREE PLASMA MINIMISSILE PACK! *explosive delivery options included

ringringlingling ringringlingling's picture
Bull Stories

I ever tell you about the time I saved the pope?
http://eclipsephase.com/jovian-son-firewall-adventure
True story!